Pay attention! Give ear! This is for your Good! For Your Profit for many a long day. Don't play with your food!

The Horrors and Woes of Niraya

Hell

Where the Sun
Don't Shine

horrors

 

Evam me Sutam
The way I hear tell
Once upon a time
Savatthi-town
Jeta Grove
Anathapindika Park
The Great Master come-a revisit'n

And then one time there he said:

"It's no easy thing,
Beggars,
To Describe
The Horrors
And
Woes
Of Niraya
So many
Are
The Horrors
And
Woes
Of
Niraya."

And then he fell silent

 

So then, a' course, this Beggar
Pipes up

To pipe up good and proppa, ya first listen. Then ya fill ya pipe, lite up, puff, and puff again. Then ya puff a few more times meanwhile ponder'n real good. Then ya take ya pipe ouchya mouth and while holden the bowl and rais'n up the index finger in inquiry, ya ask ya stupid question.

p.p. explains it all — p.p.

"But is it possible to make a simile for
The Horrors
And
Woes
Of
Niraya?"

pipe up

 

It is
Possible,
Beggar,
Pay Attention
Give Ear
I will speak!

Imagine,
Beggars,
A
Beggar,
In
The
Grip
Of the
Guards
Of
Niraya

 

As they
Drag
Him
Off
Unwilling
Twisting
And Turning
The Body
This Way
And
That
To
Niraya

First
They
Tenderize him up
A Bit
They give him
The Panca
Vidha
Bandhana
The 5th
Dimension
Piinanyinniinim

 

(Pali English Dictionary: The 5-Fold Pinion

Vaddhana

  1. Exaggeration intensification

  2. obsession fixation

  3. arrangement

  4. preparation

  5. a bowl fragment

  6. a garment (of sorts) > becomes Bandhana

 

  1. bound up

  2. downbound

  3. arrange

  4. join

  5. handle

  6. piece together

  7. strap

  8. give the Panca-Vidha-Bandhana

They Drive
Red Hot
Iron Spikes
Thru Both
Them Greedy
Hans

pin

 

An They
Drive
Red Hot
Iron Spikes
Through Both
Tween Legs

And they Drive
A red hot iron
Spike right on
Through his
Circumcentrum
Focusa locusa
(that's 'es central part —
the Heart
of 'es
Citti)
Right through
The Maj-j-hima.

 

And at that
He experiences
Painful
Sensations

Intensely
Painful
Sensations

 

Acutely
Intense
Painful
Sensations

But they do not
Say he's
Served his time
(kalan-karoti — do'n time)
until
he's finished up
his
evil
downbound
deeds

 

O O O
The Horrors
And Woes
A Dukkha
They gotta
Inni
Niraya

And then
The
Guards
Of
Niraya
Hell
Lay
That Beggar
Flat

Onadz

His
Back'n
Hue'im
Up straight
All four
Sides
Withey
Adze

 

And Then
They
Hang
Him
Up
Bound
Up
Up-end
Down
And
Smooth
Out
The Rough
Spots
Withey
Razor

Razor: from Rase. Middle English: Rasen; Middle French: Raser; Latin: Rasus — scraped or shaved from Radere (rodere/rodent/rat) to gnaw; Welsh: rhathell, rasp

p.p. explains it all — p.p.

And Then
They Hitch
Him up
To a
Chariot
And
Drive
Him
This Way
And
That
inthaptit
A
Smoldering
Charcoal
Neither flaming
Nor smoking

 

And Then
They Push 'im
-n- Pull 'im
Up an
Down
Them Slopes
A
Ash
-n-
Cinder
Burning
Blazing
In Flames

And at that
He experiences
Painful
Sensations

 

Intensely
Painful
Sensations

Acutely
Intense
Painful
Sensations

 

But not yet
Do they say
"He's served
His Time"
For ...
Not Yet
Has He
Cleaned
Up
His Evil
Downbound
Act

O O O
The Horroso
Sorroso
Dukkha
They Gotta
Inniniraya

 

And then
The
Guards
Of
Niraya
Hell
Take
That
Beggar
And
Toss
Him
Into
Red Hot
Boiling
Iron
Cauldron
#1

Pathavi Apo Tejo Vayo
Fire Burn And Cauldron Bubble
At 212ḥ Fahrenheit 100ḥ Celsius
(up here at sea level)
The hand drawn edition has ... "with:

Cloves (dried flower bud of caryophyllos Aromaticus)
Cinnamon stick (bark of cinnamomum zeylanicum)
Salt (old English: sealt; old Teutonic: salto; Greek gives Greek; Latin, sal; sodium chloride NaCl)
Mustard seed (for those who measure faith: Greek name; brassica nigra)
Fenugreek seed (trigonella faenum graecum)
Cumin seed (cumin cyminum)
Turmeric (ground root (mula) of curcuma longa)
Cayenne (ground seeds and pods of capsicum annuum or frutescens)
Corriander seed (coriandrum cativum)
Cardamom(pods and seeds)(cardamomum amomum or elettaria)
Black Pepper (Piper Nigrum) (Berries, corns)
With a picture of a cauldron, a little man on a rapid descent into the cauldron, and the words: (Serves One) right well

Amounts are given

 

Where'e
Sinks
Down
Til'e
'its the
Patta-
Mula
(The
Root
Of
The Bowl
Hits
Bottom)
A trip
Taking
60-
Thousand
Years

Then
He
Rises
Up
With
The
Scum
Taking
60,000
Years

 

And Then
For
60,000 years
The Guards
Stir
Him
In the Eastern
Way

And Then
For
60,000
Years
The Guards
Stir Him
In the Western
Direction

 

And Then
For 60Thou/annum
The Guards
Stir
Him
In the
Northern
Manner

And Then
For 60,000 years
The Guards
Stir'mup
Good
Inni ol'fashon
Suth'n
Style

 

And then
The Guards
Haul Him
Out
Withey
Gaff

Hay man!
Waz appa'n Bro
Ma man!
Que Passo
Hey Guy!
How ya Do'n
Long Time
No See
What Rock Ya Been Hide'n Under?
Howz Evera Thin
They Taken
Good Care
A Ya
Down
There?

 

Or, As The
Gods Put it:
"Ehi Bhikkhu!
Come Good Sir
At last Good Sir
You take this
Opportunity
That is to say
Of Visiting
Here!"

And Then
They set
That Beggar
Up

 

On Dry Land
And after the
Exchange of
Polite Talk
Compliments
And
Courtesies

They ask:
"Is there
Anything We
Can do for
You?
Maybe something
You
Want?"

 

And that Beggar sez:

"Yeah man,
I sure
Could use
A
Drink!"

So then them
Guards
Pry Open
That Beggar's
Mouth
With
A
jack.

Atza
Crack-a
Jack
J-joke.

p.p. explains it all — p.p.

 

Fix Pegs
On His
Teeth
To Keep His
Jaws
Open
Jam
A
Funnel
Down
His
Throat
And Pour in
Molten
Copper ...
Muchas any
Beggar'd
WISH

And that molten copper
Pas pas him lip
Pas tongue
Pasthroat
Passum ol'addamappa
Downiesophasug
Pass pancreas
Into the belly
And out again
Through the intestines
And out
The anus
Drag'n
Pleny'nuf
With a
Meanwhile ...
Burning
Blazing
In Flames

 

And at that
He experiences
Painful
Sensations
(Hooee! Man that was some curry!)

Intensely
Painful
Sensations

 

Acutely
Intense
Painful
Sensations

And then
They
Say:

 

"But He
Has not
Served his time
Until
His Evil
Downbound
Way
Is Done."

O O O
The Horrors
And Woes
Of Dukkha
They Gotta
Inniniraya

 

And Then
The
Guards
Of
Niraya
Hell
Take
That
Beggar
And
Toss
Him
Into
Red Hot
Boiling
Iron
Cauldron
#2

60,000 Down
60,000 Up with the Scum
60 M East
60 M West
60 M North
60 M South

 

And you know?
When they haul
Him out
He sez:
Ya mon
I cu
Usa
Bita
E

Silver
Balls
Warmed up
Real Good
Pleny'nuf
Satisfacmactory
Mastication
Factory

 

And Then ...
... cooking times as before;
slake the tanha with
molten gold

Then they toss him
Into silver
Cauldron
#1
and slake his
thirst
with
molten
copper

 

... silver
cauldron # 2 ...
... molten silver ...
... silver # 3 ...
... molten
gold ...
... golden cauldron #1
... molten copper ...
... gold #2 ...
... silver ...
... gold # 3 ...
... gold ...

Well
There comes a time
After a
Long long time
But
Sooner
Or
Later
When
That
Beggar
Catches
On

 

So when
The guards
Haul him out
Set him up
And ask him:
"Is there anything
you want?"

He lies

 

And sez:
"No man
I don't
Want
Any
Thing
Nada
No
Sir
E
Bob
Nuthin
Attatititaw

So then
The
Guards
Of
Niraya
Hell
Say:

"Well then
Ma Man
Ya 'peer
T'av don
Ya time
In The
Boiling
Iron
Cauldron
Hells."

 

Tita peer
Thatcha
Ready
For
Placement ...

this way