# The Horrors and Woes
of Niraya Hell

Where the Sun
Don't Shine

Evam me Sutam The way I hear tell Once upon a time Savatthi-town Jeta Grove Anāthapiṇḍika Park The Great Master came-a revisit'n. |  | And then one time there he said: "It's no easy thing, Beggars, to describe the horrors and woes of Niraya so many are the horrors and woes of Niraya." And then he fell silent.

So then, a' course, this Beggar pipes up To pipe up good and proppa, ya first listen. Then ya fill ya pipe, lite up, puff, and puff again. Then ya puff a few more times meanwhile ponder'n real good. Then ya take ya pipe ouchya mouth and while holden the bowl and rais'n up the index finger in inquiry, ya ask ya stupid question. — p.p. "But is it possible to make a simile for the horrors and woes of Niraya?" |  |

It is possible, beggar, pay attention give ear I will speak! |  | Imagine, beggars, a beggar, in the grip of the guards of Niraya

As they drag him off unwilling twisting and turning the body this way and that to Niraya |  | First they tenderize him up a bit ... they give him the panca vidha bandhana the 5th dimension piinanyinniinim.

(Pāḷi English Dictionary: The five-Fold Pinion Vaddhana Exaggeration intensification arrangement preparation a bowl fragment a garment (of sorts) > becomes Bandhana bound up downbound arrange join handle piece together strap give the Panca-Vidha-Bandhana |  | They drive red hot iron spikes thru both them greedy hans

An they drive red hot iron spikes through both tween legs |  | And they drive a red hot iron spike right on through his circumcentrum focusa locusa (that's 'es central part — the heart of 'es citi) right through the maj-j-hima.

And at that he experiences painful sensations. |  | Intensely painful sensations.

Acutely intense painful sensations. |  | But they do not say he's served his time (kalan-karoti — do'n time) until he's finished up his evil downbound deeds.

O O O the horrors and woes a dukkha they gotta inni Niraya |  | And then the guards of Niraya hell lay that beggar flat on his back'n hue'im up straight all four sides withey adze

And then they hang him up bound up up-end down and smooth out the rough spots withey razor Razor: from rase. Middle English: Rasen; Middle French: Raser; Latin: Rasus — scraped or shaved from radere (rodere/rodent/rat) to gnaw; Welsh: rhathell, rasp — p.p. |  | And then they hitch him up to a chariot and drive him this way and that inthaptit a smoldering charcoal neither flaming nor smoking.

And then they push 'im -n- pull 'im up an down them slopes a ash -n- cinder burning blazing in flames |  | And at that he experiences painful sensations

Intensely painful sensations |  | Acutely intense painful sensations

But not yet do they say "He's served his time" for ... not yet has he cleaned up his evil downbound act |  | O O O the horroso sorroso dukkha they gotta inniniraya.

And then the guards of Niraya hell take that beggar and toss him into red hot boiling iron cauldron #1 |  | Pathavi Apo Tejo Vayo fire burn and cauldron bubble At 212° Fahrenheit 100° Celsius (up here at sea level). The hand drawn edition has ... "with: Cloves (dried flower bud of caryophyllos Aromaticus) Cinnamon stick (bark of cinnamomum zeylanicum) Salt (old English: sealt; old Teutonic: salto; Greek gives Greek; Latin, sal; sodium chloride NaCl) Mustard seed (for those who measure faith: Greek name; brassica nigra) Fenugreek seed (trigonella faenum graecum) Cumin seed (cumin cyminum) Turmeric (ground root (mula) of curcuma longa) Cayenne (ground seeds and pods of capsicum annuum or frutescens) Corriander seed (coriandrum cativum) Cardamom (pods and seeds)(cardamomum amomum or elettaria) Black Pepper (Piper Nigrum) (Berries, corns) With a picture of a cauldron, a little man on a rapid descent into the cauldron, and the words: "(Serves One) right well." Amounts are given.

... where'e sinks down til'e 'its the patta-mula (the root of the bowl hits bottom) a trip taking 60- thousand years. |  | Then he rises up with the scum taking 60,000 years.

And then for 60,000 years the guards stir him in the eastern way. |  | And then for 60,000 years the guards stir him in the western direction.

And then for 60thou/annum the guards stir him in the northern manner. |  | And then for 60,000 years the guards stir'mup good inni ol'fashon suth'n style.

And then the guards haul him out withey gaff. |  | Hay man! Waz appa'n Bro? Ma man! ¿Que Passo? Hey Guy! How ya do'n? Long time no see. What rock ya been hide'n under? Howz evera thin? They taken good care a ya down there?

Or, as the gods put it: "Ehi bhikkhu! come good sir at last good sir you take this opportunity, that is to say, of visiting here!" |  | And then they set that beggar up

on dry land and after the exchange of polite talk compliments and courtesies |  | They ask: "Is there anything we can do for you? Maybe something you want?"

And that beggar sez: "Yeah man, I sure could use a drink!" |  | So then them guards pry open that beggar's mouth with a jack, Atza crack-a jack j-joke. — p.p.

fix pegs on his teeth to keep his jaws open jam a funnel down his throat and pour in molten copper ... much as any beggar'd wish. |  | And that molten copper pas pas him lip pas tongue pas throat passum ol'addamappa downiesophagus pass pancreas into the belly and out again through the intestines and out the anus drag'n pleny'nuf with a meanwhile ... burning blazing in flames.

And at that he experiences painful sensations. (Hooee! Man that was some curry!) |  | Intensely painful sensations.

Acutely intense painful sensations. |  | And then they say:

"But he has not served his time until his evil downbound way is done." |  | O O O The horrors and woes of dukkha they gotta inniniraya

And then the guards of Niraya hell take that beggar and toss him into red hot boiling iron cauldron #2 |  | 60,000 down 60,000 up with the scum 60 M East 60 M West 60 M North 60 M South.

And you know? When they haul him out he sez: Ya mon I cu usa bita e. |  | Silver balls warmed up real good pleny'nuf satisfacmactory mastication factory.

And then ... ... cooking times as before; slake the tanha with molten gold. |  | Then they toss him into silver cauldron #1 and slake his thirst with molten copper.

... silver cauldron # 2 ... ... molten silver ... ... silver # 3 ... ... molten gold ... ... golden cauldron #1 ... molten copper ... ... gold #2 ... ... silver ... ... gold # 3 ... ... gold ... |  | Well there comes a time, after a long long time, but sooner or later, when that beggar sorta catches on.

So when the guards haul him out set him up and ask him: "Is there anything you want?" |  | He lies,

and sez: "No man I don't want any thing, nada, no sir e bob nuthin attatititaw." |  | So then the guards of Niraya hell say: "Well then, ma man, ya 'peer t'av don ya time in the boiling iron cauldron hells."

Tita peer thatcha ready for placement ... |  |